你为什么要出现？

你为什么要跟我说呢么多？

If only i didn't ask so much.

once bitten yet not shy.

now twice bitten, i have to learn my lesson.

it is really making my life upside down.

how i wish i can take a break from everything, to restore back my life.

how i wish 2 get back to my single days 2 think what i really wan.

my life is in a mess now.

give me a chance to clean up e mess.

now it is really weird facing u.

every time time i see u, it make me feel weird.

it make me want to avoid u.

don't mind e harsh words please.

i don't want any waiting.

i don't want anyone to waste their time on me.

i hope tat we will be what we are in the past.

FRIENDS.

Now, after tat incident, it make me feel difficult 2 face my baby.

i feel tat i am cheating on him when i am not.

it make me wan to give up on everything tat i hold on dearly to.

and go back into the world when relationship is not in my dictionary.

what am i going to do?

it really hurts me like hell.

just like when the raindrops hit u on your flesh when riding on a bike.

its hard to avoid and it will leave a scar on u.

i spend more time at work then at home.
i spend more time working then sleeping, or playing, or shopping.
however , i spend more money then i earn.
been working for the past weeks. however e cash is disappearing fast.
ppl dont work yet they have cash coming in.
i work yet i have little cash on hand.

my mom moved my furniture back 2 where it was n i dont like!! i am seriously going on strike. i want it back 2 where it was!

LALALALALA

i pass!! hehe. been working everyday since dont noe when. so i am going shopping 2morrow. had ear 800 plus this month but i dont see e money. where have they gone?

IFINALLY:

i finally:
*cut my hair
*dye my hair
now i look like a barbie doll. shouldnt have cut my fringe 2:( now super short.
exam results will be out 2morrow. hope i pass everything.dont wan retake RBB!!
had been workinh everyday 4 e last few days. n same 4 e following weeks. this time money is really flowing in:D

i am going be a rich rich gal at e end of e week:D if only i dont go shopping. yesterday work ended at 6pm n me go shopping at bugis street with mi xuan after listening 2 some talk. spend up 2 70 plus 80 dollars. enjoy e retail therapy after so long. first time i bought so much at 1 go. but e counting of amount spend at e end is not a good thing at all. going hair cut on thurs morning with lydia. if i can wake up:P cos i will be working ot e day before.

WORKWORKNMOREWORK!

am tired tired. my updated schedule for this week only left me free for tue before 5pm, wed 2pm, thurs 5pm, sun 4pm:(:(

HOWHOWHOW??

am super tired:( start work at 9am yesterday n ended around 7pm. i must be crazy 2 even think of doing midnight. meet lydia at far east n we walked around, see see talk talk:D very long no see le. going cut hair with her next week n after me cutting hair, i am going 2 dye my hair:D will miss Mr uncle piggy teddy alot:( if i work everyday next week thenwont have chance 2 see him:( cos next week schedule is like this: mon 6pm, tue 5pm, wed 6pm, thurs 5pm,fri 5pm, sat 10pm, sun 6pm. if i work i wont wakey early n i noe tat.

YISWORKSODEPRESSINGNOWADAYS?

back from work. am so depressed n angry!! u said u worked 4 2months liao. yet u say u not good at portionin food. however eway u carry e overtray look like its topple any moment. then y r e tea cups, wine glasses, rock glasses n high ball empty when u only need 2 concentrate on beverages n mayb portioning 1 table?
havin 2 deal with only 1 tray stand for side station is not easy liao. then y r u not doing ur part in clearin e plates 2 e over tray? y must u wait 4 e guest 2 go liao then can clear? y is it tat when e guests leave, u take ur own sweet time 2 clear then when e clock strikes 11pm, u drop ur tray n standing there staring in space n leaving e ballroom? where is ur sense of responsibity?
n y is it tat whenever i talk 2 u, u doesnt look at me n walk away or continue doing ur thing? is it tat a female cant lead/be better then a male? where's ur respect for me? i am still ur senior in FnB.
y cant i work with XL?it is really better 2 work with some1 u noe.

MOVIESHEREICOME:D

went on a movie spree with Mr uncle piggy teddy yesterday:D watched GOING THE DISTANCE n RESIDENT EVIL:AFTERLIFE:)
Mr uncle piggy so poor thing:( cannot get season parking for bike:(:( then 2day late for work 4 abt 1 hr:( but thanks for waking up so early 2 send me home:*

WELCOMEHOME:)

went town with Mr uncle piggy teddy:) we walked almost e whole of orchard hunt for my jackey:) from far east 2 shaw house 2 tangs 2 taka 2 cine to heeren to wisma atria 2 oh n back 2 ion, where Mr uncle piggy teddy bought me e jackey/hoodie from topman that i wanted:) thank u:*really hard 2 find a nice jackey now a days:(
i must control my spending!!! i jus bought a new wallet n a i touch cover with e look of an angel from fourskin. SAVE SAVE SAVE. if only i was a billionaire...

HIBYEJACKEY

no work 2day:D so going meet Mr uncle piggy teddy:D:D we going to hunt for my new jackey:) i noe i sent my jacket to wash but it didnt return:( must be my mom. she like tat anyhow keep my thing:(

MYLOVE,HEREICOME:D

Yeah:D After 2 weeks of work, my bank is finally starting 2 grow:) From an account tat can't even withdraw till now. Am so proud of myself. HEHE. Rewarding myself with my love, 1.5l of Pepsi:D very long since i last drank Pepsi.

now that i had done so much to make my income grow, it's time 2 plan my time wisely. i need 2 plan where 2 work so tat i can make full use of my time.

my next GOAL: i worked at RTC n OH n managed 2 be appointed as e VIP server for many occasions. i am now going 2 work hard n 2 be recognize as a VIP server at Grand Park Hotel 2:) it mayb abit hard 2 achieve, but wat's life without some challenge?

i am so bored tat i changed my blogskin, pack my room n even did this 2 my itouch.nice nice rite? but am scared tat when i get tired of it, removing it will leave stain on my touch touch

at least work is otw soon. but time is passing so slowly:( working later but now only 2plus:(

i am done with my exam!! yeah:) Holiday time now:D will have lots n lots of time le.
After so long i manage 2 get my KFC:) yum yum
my room is in a MESS!! wanted 2 give my room a new look. hehe. but after shifting e furniture, am now tired tired le. lazy 2 continue:P

1 paper down. RBB is seriosly a nightmare. i cant even see e different btw a coffee bean n a burger in black n white.i must pass this paper 2 pass my overall. i wan exams 2 be over. E stress of exams r 2 heavy 2 handle. now i cant even go OLIVE! i need my notes for 2morrow exam!!

fake job: 1 tat only tell u e benefit at first...
1 tat is easy...

Real job: 1 tat tell u both e benefit n disadvantage of e job

i study 4 10 mins n play my touch for 2hrs:(:(

STUDYING IS BORING:(

time 2 study...
but i still dont feel e need 2 concentrate:(

SHOULD I GO OR NOT?

i used to love going to sentosa...
i love e sun...
i love e sand...
i love e icy n salty water...
i love e ppls that i go with...
but when i was asked to go this weekend...
it jus dont feel right...
the feeling is wrong...
i jus cant convince myself to go...
same sun...
same sand...
same water...
but different ppl...
is it e cause?
i noe i not really close to them...
still haven open my heart to accept them...
i been trying hard... real hard...
2 accept them as my close friends...
every1 tat i noe r my friends...
but how many ppl can take e next step 2 me 1 of my close friends.

mayb i jus thinking 2 much...
mayb is jus cos e exam is jus around e corner...

saving time:)

i am gonna SAVE!
i am going 2 put aside 1/3 of my pay everytime i work...
not not use them...
till time is ripe:D

work was fun...
except tat it is so squeezey:(
e attire sooo cool:D
huge bow tie:D

love is sweet

I love prawn prawn:)

it is really great 2 have $ in my wallet again:)
but how long will it last?
been looking around blogshops...
i have plans...
but am wondering if it will work out...

i more stress then tired...
u really have alot more 2 learn...
seriously ALOT...
i am trying 2 help u...
but first u must help youself...

i losing my voice...
but for u i will drink more water...
eat less fried food...
cos i need my voice!!

i realised tat i have great friends around me:D
n u r 1 of them:D:D
there are times in which i did wat i am not suppose to do...
there are also times that i did not do wat i am suppose to do...
i noe i am stubborn somedays...
hard to handle others days...
n maybe even a combination of both...
but i am harmless...
u cant vomit blood jus becos of me...
if u do it is time to see the doctors...
u cant get into a mishap jus cos i dont listen...
if not i will be the 1 behind it...
haha...

i will endure( sound familier?) this difficult and stressful life
life is not prefect now...
but it will be a step nearer 2 prefection 2morrow:)
be assured that i will put what i learn into practice even though i do not or is unable to show it...

in e past...

i can earn $100 a day...

but now...

i take 3 days 2 earn tat amt...

haiz...

is it all coincidence?

all did all happen for a reason?

went online and u went offline??

u r suppose 2 work on fri n i heard tat u r going ice skating??

u r suppose 2 work n u said u wont be in singapore...

is it all excuses or it is real...

i cant see the difference...

wa...

now is like everything our fault and u have no fault...

u say till u are not in the wrong due to your past experiences...

i admit that we are in the wrong...

but then, if u had taken care of your belonging in the first place, this will not happen...

the past is the past...

it cannot be undone...

your experience when u r young will definitely affect u to a certain extend...

but u r however letting the memories take over your mind n control u...

in school; teacher, at home; parents are sure to teach you to take care of your belongings n valuables...

u said till your bag is super important to u...

with all your exam notes..

however, if it is so important to u, u wont leave it unattended...

i noe exam result is important to you...

but then shouldnt you a least inform the others your whereabout?

we tried to stop you, u said u didnt hear...

k...

when we finally found you, i thought you noe wat happened...

i thought u saw it...

i thought everything is over...

i thought whatever u wrote is jus a joke...

i when 2 check my grades...

n u said that i still can happily go check my grades when didnt u also abandon us to check it in e 1st place?

your grades is important 2 u, then y cant it be important to me?

then when our friend wan to explain to you, u rolled your eyes...

she left without a word, leaving me behind culeless...

what do u expect me to tell u when u ask who is behind this...

u expecting me to say that' oh... a group of us are playing a prank on u'

when i dont even noe wat happen at e moment i was checking the grades...

i was at a total lost...

i when down with u, asking where is she...

u ignored me...

i ask u want go biz park look for ppl...

u happily jus take out your ear piece in listen to your music...

it is just as though i am invisible and am talking to that wall behind u...

i left u and went biz park...

i am actually leaving sch with one of our friend and head off to work...

but i stayed...

i stayed with another of our friend...

i stayed trying 2 look 4 u at the seat outside lt intending to explain everything to u...

u r not there...

yet u r with you best friend...

our friend msg u, no reply...

she attend the same lecture with u only to seat alone...

u had been asking us to see from your point of u...

y not see it in ours?

the plank is supposedly to be harmless...

even if its is not, we tried to stop u...

we didnt mean any harm....

you had been the 1 in our clique that mistake other ppl action easily...

like that monday after my birthday...

u think too much n interpreted my actions to be negative....

that u celebrated too many times with me...

that i dont want u to celebrated with me any more...

i thought u cherish our friendship...

but 2day u said this few words in your last sentence '连朋友也做不了'

i suddenly feel that u have no longer want this friendship any more...

FAIRYTALE

i finally have a nice long sleep...

without any project and presentation stress..

a sleep a long for a long time...

time to concentrate for my MR end semester test on wed...

i didn't even attend any single of that lecture, print any of the module notes after e mid semester test...

i am going to be a sleeping beauty for the next few days:D

my sleeeeeeeeeeppppppp here i come:D

finishing my art soon!!

haha...

the love bear shirt really give me alot inspiration:)

thanks...

hahas...

n i finish watching谈情说案:)

I WANT TO DREAM AGAIN!

lesson super boring:(

esp when i didn't have my lecture notes with me...

i am really tired...

i wan e life that i can sleep and wakey any time i wan...

but art is taking up almost all the time...

next week will be the last tutorial...

2morrow will have a art market up lesson...

at 9AM some more:'(

n i have have 1 whole undone sketch book 2 be submitted 2morrow:(

my gone gone again:'(

i broke my record...

haha..

spend $3.40 for 3 days...

i should jus go n be a pilot...
i'm sure i can control the plane real well...
once again i had not gone OH work even though i booked a slot...
i need money...
but i am lazy n dont feel like working OH...
haiz...

PRESENTATION IS FINALLY OVER!!

well.. 4 this sem...

but then...

ITS TIME TO ENJOY...

before the exams..

hehe...

my want list:]

*car

*driving licence

*mighty wallet

*more clothes

*new stuffs

*outings

*shopping

*soft toys

my need list:]

-a life

-money

-more work

-motivation

-no debt life

-sleep

jus ended rbb presentation...

SRTESS 2 e MAX!!

it had been a really long time since:

1) i worked RTC
2) i watched movie with my best of friends
3) i went shopping
4) i stepped into buildings like far east
5) i ate inside a KFC outlet
6) i went 2 any fast food restaurant
7) i meet up with my friends esp lydia, fiona etc
8) i had a sleeping marathon; sleeping early n waking up in e evening only to go back 2 sleep
9) i go for M.R. lecture
10)i had supper with RTC ppls

and the list continues...

life improving??

Things r getting better...
I guess...
Found a new job...
Get marks I didn't expect to achieve...
But is life really getting better??
With e fights with my mom...
Stress with project piling up...
Y can't I have everything perfect??

.

STRESS!!!

dreams r just so beautiful

I really really want my life back 2 before 28/5... I regret not answering those calls... I promise I will ans all phone calls...

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

am going 2 burn my midnight oil after bloggin...
exam around e corner again...
really regret booking for this weekend slot at RTC...
really take away my time 2 study...
mon- Store Management
tue- Retail Buying Behavior
thurs- Financial Aspect in Retail Management
fri- Marketing Research
y cant i have jus 1 more week 2 study....
i actually thought i have 1 week of study break...
but where is it?

went steamboat with peter n you zai n for durian after tat...
had fun...
so now for some serious work 2 be done...
i better get good grades for trying so hard...

sat a bike for e very first time...
scary sia!!
esp when e bike is slowing down...
it is like u r going 2 fly forward any time...
but e new experience quite fun:)
haha...
n e helmet not light de lor...

when u dont have it u envy n long for it...
when u have it u get bored of u...
when u lost it u start u cherish it n want it back...
is this human nature??

went sch do PORM project...
suppose 2 do as a group...
in e end only sun ran n me turn up...
haiz...
went ikea after tat...

am jus so bored!!

haiz...
is really not a good start for e year 4 me...
things having been happening this few months...
giving up my room for some1 who i dont noe n i will never noe and not able 2 get e room back,
study break during CNY,
exams,
long last mins studies,
diffcult papers
and
when now exams are over i cant seem 2 have lots of job opportunities...
when i manage 2 book a slot at either RTC or OH, they will somehow be cancelled last min...

wat can i do during e 1.5 months holiday??
i have the following choices:
persuade my mom 2 let me have my room back then can spend e holiday decorating it??
however...
my mom just refuse to let me have it back...
find a part-time job??
however...
even if i start finding now, how long can i work before school reopen??
go out and have fun??
however...
who is so free 2 go with me?? every1 else seem 2 be just so busy...
stay at home n rot??
good yet terrible choice...

wat do i wan excatly??
i dont want e holiday 2 be here... yet i dont want school 2 start...

i seriously hate e place i'm stayin at now...
so damn hot!! esp when my mom go out...
and when i'm not home some itcy hands will come anyhow touch mine things...
i jus dont feel like being home...

few months ago was approached and given a name card from a person working at imodel...
yestersay, receive a call from them to ask me go for interiew...
should i or should i not??

lastly...
on a happier note...
went sentosa yeaterday n had fun...
even though only got 3 ppl...
went late n Lai Di didnt really get her chance 2 tan...
hahas...

my last words

school is over...
am going to miss every1 lots...
esp those in my clique... (minus hafiz... [just kidding])
well...
since i did not say something on wed(reunion dinner)
i am going 2 post wat i wanted 2 say...
thanks every1 for making my life in tp so enjoyable...
thanks for everything...
the late night in school(printing pass year papers),
the skipping of lectures,
the maggi eating during breaks,
the shopping outings
and even the disagreements,
make wat i am 2day.
i wanted to say even if things going to change now tat we are going to change class,
we can and must keep in touch no matter wat happen:D

Chua Lai Di- A caps L and D for your name... A tomboy lady:P but getting more n more girly... seriously... nail-painting was not her type... but now... haiz... crazy about TVXQ... haha... however hardworking i must say... gone through lots with me... and help me in my studies... she is like a mother 2 me... angry when did something i wrong, worried when i am not studying...

Goh Wan Yee- She e 1 who skipped the most lecture... but still got an okay grade for test/exam... so can say she is a clever person... missed e dinner but i am sure you will be with us the next outing:D get well soon...

Hafiz- a irritating person i must say... i dont really like him at first cause he is like quite gay... Don't be sad... haha... however i am also going to miss him 2... cos after all we are a group and my thoughts of him am getting better... but the thing i will not like about him is the using of MC to skip tutorial... it is just so unfair... so what if you are rich... so what if the money spent on doctor fees is so little 2 you...


Koh Yan peng- Another Korean fan... She is just so lucky to be staying just opp school... can wake up at 8.45 and still not be late for the 9am lesson... a good shopping partner:D so must have another Far East shopping with Lai Di, cindy and jie ying.

Leong Xin Yi Cindy- A singer in e group... like to sing when n wherever she like... haha... Been in e same group for almost all e project... thanks for lending me your notes:D

Ong Jie Ying- Elyse's lao gong n e 1 who 'invented' e word gan ge. A BEST friend to me... She is another of e few who gone through 'thick and thin' with me... The skipping of lectures, the shopping, the buying of touch touch and even went working with me...

Sun Ran- A shy and quiet girl... must always rmb that we are your SG family:)

syaz- The first person i noe during poly orientation... every1 like noe one another like tat... however i noe none or veri little... she is the 1 who sit beside me and i am really glad that she did... a hardworking girl who listen hard no matter how boring or distracting the lecture or tutorial is...

Zhang Xin Elyse- OJY's lao po... bring great joy and laughter 2 the group with the lao gong and lao po thing... haha...

haven feel this way since 11/11/09
now e feeling is back:(
tried to brighten things up by watching comedy when home...
but to no use...
unlike last time, this time tears flow down...
dont think will be able to sleep for e night in which i should be doing now...
things are suppose to get better for me as the busy week is coming to an end soon...
however, i am seriously upset...

work is such a disappointment 2day...
did 2 2 3 2day with a guy who worked 2 or 3 weeks at orchard cafe...
he always isnt in e ballroom...
isnt clearing dirty plates,
isnt doing what he is suppose 2 do...
who portion rice with a ladle instead of serving gears?
-my partner...
who stay in e ballroom e whole night and tea are not filled up?
-my partner...
who dragged me down from being e first few 2 being e last few 2 pick up?
-my partner...
who just dump everthing onto e over tray when i go pick up and leave me with no place 2 land?
-my partner...
i finally noe why my side plates disappear soo fast...
cos some ppl just dont noe where their side station is...

yesterday is really one of the worse day of the e worsest day i had in my 17 years...
it all start when my phone camera area spoil...
followed by the restoring of my i-touch...
then woke up late for school...
had a long journey 2 habourfront with Lai Di, in hope 2 repair my phone...
sad 2 say, it is not cover under warrenty...
and e parts 2 repair no stock...
have to wait for 3 working weeks...
sian...
so decided in not repairing...
wasted e bus trip 2 n fro...
otw to RTC, my ice cream phone hang twice...
in with follow by it cant read my memory card...
seriously, its time 2 change a new phone:)

RTC finally dont need where cheong sum do VIP...
but that is not necessary a good thing...
wearing a scarf over the current uniform is not a good idea 2...
haiz... projects are piling up...
with all e work and school load, its real hard 2 cope...
i wonder how others do it?
i wonder...
i wonder...

My new year resolution 4 year 2010: SLEEP MORE...
can it be done?